SpongeBob Hooky Alternate Ending
by TomSurfing
Summary: The poetic, hilarious and didactic alternate ending to the SpongeBob episode Hooky. Always let your conscience be your guide! Read now…


SPONGEBOB HOOKY ALTERNATE ENDING

SPONGEBOB SAW PATRICK CONSTANTLY PLAYING ON FISHING HOOKS AGAINST MR. KRABS' WARNINGS. PATRICK'S CHUBBY FACE WAS SO FULL OF JOY AND SWEAT THAT SPONGEBOB COULD ALMOST NOT RESIST JUMPING ONTO A HOOK. HOWEVER, SPONGEBOB REMEMBERED MR. KRABS' WARNING THAT HOOKS LEAD TO HELL. SO SPONGEBOB DECIDED TO LEAVE PATRICK TO HIS DEADLY GAMES. THE FOOLISH PATRICK YELLED FOR SPONGEBOB TO JOIN HIM. PATRICK REPEATEDLY YELLED:

"HEY, SPONGEBOB, I BET THE DEVIL STING RAY MY BARNACLES THAT I'LL NEVER GET CAUGHT BY A HOOK! I LOVE PLAYING ON HOOKS SO MUCH THAT I WANT YOU TO CALL ME A HOOKER FROM NOW ON! COME ON, SPONGEBOB, BEING A HOOKER IS NOT THAT BAD!"

SPONGEBOB REFUSED TO JOIN IN PATRICK'S DAREDEVIL ANTICS AND DECIDED TO CONSULT WITH MR. KRABS AGAIN. SPONGEBOB WENT TO MR. KRABS' ANCHOR HOME WHERE MR. KRABS WAS USING A FISHING ROD TO FISH FOR PENNIES IN THE WELL IN HIS BACKYARD. SPONGEBOB PLEADED FOR MR. KRABS' GUIDANCE:

"MR. KRABS…" SPONGEBOB BEGAN.

"WHAT NOW, SPONGE BOY?" MR. KRABS REPLIED.

"WELL, YOU SEE, PATRICK…"

"WHAT DID THAT SWINE DO NOW?"

"OH, NOTHING…"

"COME ON, SPONGEBOB, I CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR SPONGY HOLES THAT YOU'RE LYING TO ME."

"OKAY, MR. K, IT'S JUST THAT PAT WANTS ME TO BECOME A HOOKER REALLY BADLY LIKE HE IS…AND HE KEEPS BETTING THE DEVIL STING RAY HIS TINY BARNACLES THAT HE'LL NEVER GET CAUGHT BY A HOOK. I MEAN HE'S SO HEAVY THAT THE FISHERMEN ARE GONNA REALLY WANT TO CATCH HIM ONE DAY. THEY PROBABLY THINK HE'S A WHALE LIKE PEARL OR…"

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"WELL, NOT LIKE PEARL, BUT YOU KNOW. HAVEN'T YOU EVER READ MOBY DICK WHERE THE SAILORS HUNT FOR MOBY AND HIS BIG WHALE D-"

"HOLD ON, LITTLE SAILOR. I GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, AND YOU'RE RIGHT. PATRICK IS A BAD FRIEND, BUT HE'LL PROBABLY NEVER GET CAUGHT ON A HOOK BUT WILL JUST DIE OF A HEART ATTACK FROM HIS OBESITY LIKE THAT LARD BUBBLE BASS WILL TOO. PATRICK SHOULD NEVER BET THE DEVIL STING RAY HIS LITTLE BARNACLES AND SHOULD NEVER HAVE ASKED YOU TO PLAY HOOKY AND BECOME A HOOKER LIKE HE IS AND HIS BIG MOTHER WAS…ANYWAY, I WANT TO TELL YOU A POEM ABOUT-"

"A POEM! IS IT ABOUT MOBY DICK BECAUSE I LOVE SPERM WHALES?!"

"NO, SPONGEBOB. NO MOBY AND NO D…WELL, THERE'S A MALE FISH IN IT BUT, WELL, HIS…THING… IS NOT AS BIG AS MOBY'S. ANYWAY, DO YOU WANT MY ADVICE OR NOT?"

"OH, PLEASE TELL ME A POEM. PRETTY PLEASE, MR. KRABS. I NEED A MENTOR RIGHT NOW. I CAN'T KEEP PLAYING HOOKY WITH PATRICK BECAUSE THEN MRS. PUFF WILL NOTICE AND HER LIFE WILL BE MISERABLE WITHOUT ME!"

"OKAY, THE POEM IS ABOUT PEER PRESSURE."

"WATER PRESSURE?"

"NO, PEER PRESSURE. IT MEANS HAVING ANOTHER KID LIKE YOU TRYING TO FORCE YOU INTO DOING NAUGHTY THINGS WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT."

"OH, YOU MEAN LIKE PATRICK AND HOW-"

"EXACTLY. NOW HERE IS THE POEM. MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME IT LONG AGO WHEN I WAS JUST A CHUNKY LITTLE CRAB BOY HAVING PLAY DATES WITH PLANKTON. YOU SEE PLANKTON USED TO BE A REALLY GOOD FRIEND AND HE AND HIS MOTHER WERE CERTAINLY NOT HOOKERS. THEY WERE GOOD LITTLE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS SOLD COOKIES AND BROWNIES ON STREET CORNERS INSTEAD. SO THE POEM IS CALLED 'THE VOICE WITHIN…'"

"THE VOICE WITHIN?"

"YES, THE VOICE WITHIN."

"THE VOICE WITHIN WHAT?"

"WITHIN YOU."

"WITHIN ME, BUT I DON'T GET IT."

"OH YOU WILL, IF YOU JUST LET ME SAY THE DARN THING."

"OH, SORRY, GO AHEAD, CAPTAIN."

"THE VOICE-"

"HEY, MR. KRABS."

"YES, SPONGEBOB…"

"WHERE'S SQUIDWARD?"

"I DON'T KNOW. WHY?"

"JUST WONDERING…OKAY POEM TIME!"

MR. KRABS SIGHS. THEN MR. KRABS RECITES THE TRAGIC POEM:

"THE VOICE WITHIN,

TO NEVER SIN

THERE ONCE WAS A YOUNG LITTLE FISH

WHO ONLY HAD ONE TRUE WISH

TO GET A FREE MEAL

EVEN IF HE HAD TO STEAL

IT WAS ALL A PART OF THE GAME

THE RULES WERE ALWAYS THE SAME

YOU GET FOOD FOR FREE

AND THEN YOU WILL BE

A PART OF THE FISHY FISH GANG

THEY EVEN HAD THIS SONG THAT THEY ALWAYS SANG

'SO WE CAN GET A FREE MEAL

AND KNOW THAT YOU WANT TO STEAL

YOU'LL PLAY WITH THE HOOK

AND NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK

YOU'LL BE ONE OF US FOREVER

IN A BOND YOU CAN NEVER SEVER'

HE DID NOT KNOW WHAT THE HOOK WAS

BUT IT DID NOT MATTER BECAUSE

FROM HIS VERY FIRST DAY

HE WOULD ALWAYS SAY

'TO BELONG IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA

IS ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME!'

BUT INSIDE HE KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG

DESPITE THE JOYOUSNESS OF THE SONG

BUT THAT FATEFUL NIGHT, HE DID NOT LISTEN TO THE WARNING, HE DID NOT LISTEN TO THE VOICE WITHIN

AND SO HE WAS DEAD IN THE MORNING, HE DANCED WITH THE DEVIL STING RAY AND DID NOT WIN..."

SPONGEBOB BEGINS CRYING ABOUT THE SAD POEM, AND MR. KRABS HUGS HIM AND STEALS HIS WALLET WHILE COMFORTING HIM.

"THE VOICE WITHIN. IT'S MY CONSCIENCE RIGHT?" THE SOBBING SPONGEBOB ASKED.

"AYE, YOU LITTLE SEA MAN. AND ALWAYS LET YOUR CONSCIENCE BE YOUR GUIDE…"

SPONGEBOB NEVER PLAYED HOOKY AGAIN. MR. KRABS NEVER FOUND ANY PENNIES IN HIS WELL BUT HE DID FIND SQUIDWARD IN THERE. SQUIDWARD HAD BEEN BABYSITTING AND PLAYING A GAME WITH THE FISH TWINS JACK AND JILL WHO PUSHED HIM INTO THE WELL. MR. KRABS RESCUED SQUIDWARD AND REMINDED HIM TO NEVER PLAY WITH LITTLE KIDS WHO PLAY PRANKS. FINALLY, PATRICK WAS CAUGHT ON A HOOK AND ACCIDENTALLY SERVED AS PORK TO FAT HUMANS.

THE END


End file.
